Little Girls Gone Wild

I just read a fabulous, but disturbing article in Redbook this morning. It was called "Little Girls Gone Wild," and you can read it by clicking the title. It really hit a nerve because this is something I've felt very strongly about for a long time- sexualizing young girls. I have some very strong and probably controversial opinions on this subject. I make no apologies. If you're offended, I'm sorry that YOU took offense, but I am in no way sorry for my views.

Going back a long way, I feel strongly that the women's lib movement started all of this. Zip back to the 50's when women stayed at home with their children. They took the time to raise their families, to teach their children morals and values. They kept their family strong because it was important. But as the women's lib movement continued, some women felt the need to work outside the home. This left less time to raise their family, leaving less time to parent. Families have disintegrated since then. Now, many times, both parents work outside the home and by the time they get off work and pick the kids up from daycare, there's no time to fix a meal (hello, Mc Donalds), and if there are any activities, no one is home until bedtime. Then they're so exhausted that it's easier to plop their children in front of the tv and let them do their own thing. Parent's see their children maybe 4 hours a day. How can you parent like that? Way back, women were home when the kids got out of school, they cooked meals, they enjoyed their families, and families worked. Now, divorce is so common that it seems odd when families stay together.

When women demanded equality in the workplace, equalizing them with men, it also spurred a trend to be equal sexually, too. It had always been "acceptable" for men to be sexually promiscuous, but not for women. This brought about a huge change. The trends have been easy to see. It's not only disturbing, but disgusting as well. Now, it's being transferred down to our young girls in an "acceptable" way. Please note that when I use acceptable in parentheses, that I'm using the term loosely.

Media also plays a huge role in this crisis as well. Look at the ads on tv. Look at the toys they promote- most namely, Bratz. I've had a LONG hatred toward these dolls. Barbie is bad enough, but at least some of Barbies outfits were a little classy. Bratz look like they're about to head to the strip club. What message does this send to our girls. Then there's Hanna Montana... Seriously, do we really need that? They take a teenage girl, glam her up, make her look way too old for her age, and we aim it straight at little girls who think she's just fab. Really? And for the record, the girl can not sing, either, so I really don't get the appeal. The attitude that young girls have on those shows sickens me. They act like that it the appropriate way to act. What happened to the good old Emily Post etiquette rules? A few years back, Kate's 6 year old cousin had a party at Libby Lu's. Yes, 6 years old... I debated long and hard about her even going, but since it was family, we went and I regret it. Kate HATED every minute of having her hair and make-up done and having to wear some skanky outfit. She was embarassed. Then they had the girls all go out in the mall, bare midriffs and all, and dance. Kate refused, and I didn't make her. It was just WRONG. Last year when we went to the mall and that store was gone, we were both SO excited!

Then there are the shows like Toddlers and Tiaras where moms make their girls look like tramps for beauty pageants. I certainly don't find any beauty in those little girls. Take the make-up off, let their hair fall naturally, and put them in some play clothes, and they're gorgeous. I think it's absolutely wrong to even have pageants for little girls. The message it sends to them is that they're only as good as their looks. If they don't win, they're not good enough. Come on, people! Let them be little girls!

I have a young daughter, and it's hard when they see all of this around them being touted as "acceptable." Many of the girls her age wear more make-up than I do. They go to school wearing stilletos and VERY short mini skirts, despite the dress code. One, the parents flat out disobeying the school dress code sends the message that it's OK to be disobedient, and two, the school's lack of enforcement send the message that it's OK as well. I work hard to teach Kate that her worth is not about her beauty, but what she can accomplish in life and the attitude that she puts forth. She's big into Abercrombie clothes right now because that's what the girls wear. That's fine, but I also make sure that each item from there is appropriate and covers her body in a positive (yet not prudish) way. I refuse to let her wear anything with words on the butt- that just sends the wrong message...


Little girls need to be little girls as long as possible. They don't need to wear outfits that make them look grown up. I think smocked dresses and little white socks with flats are darling. And there's nothing wrong with letting them know they're pretty, it just needs to be secondary to their abilities. I really admire American Girl for promoting positive images for girls. I know we're a big fan here, with all of Kate's 9 dolls. We've read the historical books together and have been able to discuss the issues they're faced with, and all are in a positive way. Kate and I now read Nancy Drew books each night. We have the series up through #28 and our goal is to read them all. We read them together. It's positive bonding time reading quality material. It brings up good discussions, but also models good behavior- proper manners, and Nancy and Ned's romance is just that- a romance and nothing more. I think it's quite nice that way, and we both hope they marry by the end of the series. ;)


I know my battle is only beginning as Kate approaches her teenage years. I can only imagine there will be some times when she doesn't agree with my ideas, but it's my job to be her parent, not her friend. Some day, she'll be on her own, and an adult, and then she can dress and do as she pleases. But until then, as long as she's under my roof, it's my rules. Hopefully by that time, she'll learn that a little class and more clothing will make a much more positive impression.


And by the way, I wrote to Redbook thanking them for such a great article, bringing light to such a disturbing trend. I encourage you to write to them too, if you find it well written. We need to stop this trend and turn things around!