Hard work

Being a mother is hard work. HARD. I'd be preaching to the choir if I went on and on because you all know how hard it is. It never ends. Anymore, I find myself more frustrated than anything. I see certain families and think, "How on earth do they have it all together?" I know I see my sister-in-law and her 2 year old twins that rarely ever have meltdowns, eat so well, mind their manners and heck, were even potty trained before they were two! I always comment to Jess about how amazed I am, and she shrugs it off like it's nothing. Or she paints an entirely different picture of them than what I've ever seen- but I've babysat these two, and they're angels! Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair!

What's hardest right now is that Kate is oh so close to being 13 (3 months). With that comes the attitude, the smart mouth, not listening, and the hormones don't help anything at all. It's a crazy mess. It's like all the things I've taught her, fell on deaf ears. She's suddenly forgotten how to use manners. She expects us to drop everything we're doing and do something for her at that VERY minute, or we pay the price with a snotty attitude. Nothing we do is fun anymore. It doesn't matter if it's something SHE wants to do- there's always that tude.

Tonight was a rough night. She's gotten a very bad attitude about math this year. She does very well in it, but she just absolutely hates it. Part of it is the teacher, which doesn't help, but it's made for a rough year so far. She wanted help at a point where I could not help her, and said she'd have to wait a bit, which made her mad. So when I did sit down to help her, she was in an even worse mood and wouldn't take my help and just gave me more attitude. I warned her that if she wanted my help, that she had to change her attitude, or I she'd do it all herself. Well, it did not change, and I had to be tough. Even Christopher told her the same thing. So by bedtime, she was beyond mad at me, still refusing to help because she was still grouchy. This led to a big "pity party" (hate to call it that), and we had to have a long talk, and lots of tears.

I know I'm not the perfect mother. I've made many mistakes. I know I'm probably making mistakes right now. I can only pray that God leads me through this to do the best job I can with her. My mom always tells me that when I was that age, she always told herself that one of us would make it through my teenage years, and well, we both did. I just pray that we both make it through this- with sanity intact!

But it's hard when she's so stubborn. And stubborn isn't always a bad thing, but it's hard when she's being stubborn about things she thinks are right instead about important things. How do we teach that? Things that are important to a 12 year old aren't necessarily important to adults. It's hard for us to see that. There's a delicate balance between the two. She wants all of the newest gadgets/expensive clothes, but doesn't need them. They are important to her, but not necessary. If we give in and give them to her, she expects us to continue giving them. If we don't, she's mad and says we're not being fair. We often talk about possessions not being what makes us happy. I always reference back to a discussion we recently had about the "popular girls." They're popular because they have the cutest clothes, the cutest makeup, the newest gadgets, etc., but they're not nice- they just have what all of them want. I stress the importance of having friends that like you for what you are, not what you have. And even though she says she agrees that's what's important, she doesn't show us.

And it's even harder when Preston is the exact opposite. He's always been easy-going, mild mannered and easy to work with. And it's easier to be around people like that. She feels resentment, and I hate that. If we all sit down to play a game, etc. he just puts more into it and has a good time, whereas she does not. That, and he still wants to do things with us instead of watching tv, texting, etc., so we do more things that he wants to do. But she sees that as favoritism, but it's not. That, and he's 5 years younger, so there's a big difference in just about everything with them.

I knew that being a mom would be hard work, but seriously, I didn't sign up for this! Dr. B. told me back at Preston's last well check that she LOVED her teenagers, but didn't like them very much at the age Kate's at. I'm praying that once we get past the big 13 milestone, and get used to all the hormones, and she realizes that we all have to strike a new balance with her being older and more independent, that things will level out. It better, because at this rate, I don't know which one of us will make it through this! (only joking ;)) I love that girl like crazy, but geez!